Cats on the Porch

Ricky Ricardo circa 1955

The other day Grampy was over for dinner. He has three sets of clothing and one outfit for each set. His "Stay at home" patched jeans, white tshirt and old cowboy boots; his "Going out of the house but to nowhere special" outfit of a pair of newer jeans (turned up at the cuff), a flannel shirt and his old boots, and his "Puttin on the Ritz I'm going to a Party" outfit which is a brown polyester leisure suit circa 1983, turquoise bolo tie and his good cowboy boots. He even slicks back his hair for this. And if the weather is cool, wears his Ricky Ricardo jacket. You have to be really old to know what a Ricky Ricardo jacket looks like. And since some of you are whippersnappers,  I've posted a picture of him here.

Everyone that knows Tex, knows what he'll wear to any given occasion. So when he was over the other day, he brought some new jeans with him and I was flabbergasted. "You bought some new pants?!" "Yeah I went to the Goodwill and bought these but they have a hole in them". He handed them to me to hem and patch. He had actually ironed a large, dark, contrasting patch he'd cut himself into a funky shape on them and drew a dotted line around the perimeter of that gaudy patch so I'd know just where to sew. I've only been sewing for 40 years and he doesn't sew at all, so its understandable that he has to tell me how to do it.

He was talking to me as I got out the sewing machine. "Those damn cats are back again". "Huh?" I said. Cats? First I'd heard of it. "Yeah, there are two of them and they like to sleep on my porch and won't leave. Hell I hate cats. I stand at the patio door and bang on the door and shout at them to leave. They just sit there and look at me. Can't stand cats". " Do they have collars?" I asked "No. They are abandoned cats and they won't get off my porch!" "Hmmmm" I thought- (then it hit me) "Dad do you feed the cats?" "Of course I do! They're abandoned! No one else feeds them so I have to. Every day I cook up chicken and cut hot dogs up small and put tuna out there for them." This last part was said in disgust. I don't know if he's disgusted cause someone deserted them or because the odious task of feeding them has fallen on him. "Well dad, congratulations" I said. "For What?" he asked. "You are the proud owner of two abandoned cats". "Aw hell no I ain't" he insisted. "Yeah you are!" I couldn't let it go, it was funny. I had to laugh. Out loud. He got up and walked out of the room, practically tripping over my cat. "Hell I hate cats!" he ranted as he stormed down the hall.